A Surprise Farewell

Wednesday was a great day from start to finish.

It began with a 7am trip to the temple. Although, I didn't much like my experience on Saturday, I think that I was just overly anxious of the unknown. Now, I'm more comfortable with it and everything felt okay this last round. Going this time was pretty special to me because I had gone with just my best friend D and our good friend Nadine. We ran into a couple sisters from the MTC who would be off to the Bahia Blanca, Argentina mission.

After the session, D and I went back to his place where he made us a brunch of hamburger patties and mashed microwaved-potatoes. He studied while I wrote in my journal and then we went to his class on campus. The class was long and hard for me to follow but I stayed awake even though he didn't entirely. Once we were liberated from the classroom, we ran a couple errands--picked up his dancing shoes from his time in the Navy in Italy at the shoe repair and got the car washed. Back at his place, we took naps and rested for about two plus hours.

I was on the living room on my computer when D came out from his room being all like "We have to go". Earlier, he had asked me to go to a stake meeting in Lindon with him but that wasn't for a couple more hours and so I asked where. He just said Springville and it wasn't until we were half-way there that he told me we were going to Bishop's house. Once we got there, he told me the bishop was gone but he still wanted to go in. I was thinking "Okay, why are we here then?". We got in and met up with the bishop's two young daughters--then D ditched me by telling me that he had to go and that I was riding with the bishop.

I was concerned about that. Like in the temple, I don't like the unknown. What was I thinking that was going on? Since I am practically refusing to move home too soon before the mission, I am just bumming around in my college town (even though my apartment contract sold)--so I've been with my friend D like 24/7 and so I just guessed that he had a quick date or something and wasn't being quite honest. Ha, he's not the most honest guy when it comes to disclosing about his relationships. That's totally okay--that stuff really isn't my business. So that's what I was thinking was going down.

Anyways, the bishops' kids and I played Foosball and talked. I also enjoyed watching one of their sons and one of the daughters play a dance game on the Wii. They were quite energetic! And their dog, who usually doesn't pay me much attention, was really loving on me. The bishop and his wife got home and we talked about his son's college plans and Spanish conjugations. It was some good conversation.

Then the bishop grabbed his scriptures for the meeting and he, his wife, and I left for Lindon. He said that we were going to pick up his 2nd counselor and his wife and then take them to the stake center. I didn't think much of that until we pulled up to the counselor's house and there were a hundred cars parked outside--all up and down the street. I just assumed that someone was having a party--or a mission call opening (as it was Wednesday). Then I saw D come out of the house and invite us inside. I totally assumed the location had switched. Then--surprise!

It was all really nice! A good portion of the ward was there as was the stake presidency, some old ward members, and other friends.

It was a pretty cool event and I appreciated it very much. One of the old ward members who got married and "kicked out" of the ward was there. Last semester he was one of my Home Teachers and he is very special to me because he and I share some background. He has sure helped me through a bit. He gave me a letter that he wrote for me and the CTR pocket knife that he carried with him on his mission in Argentina. That really meant a lot to me! Everything meant a lot to me!

(The Stake Presidency and the Bishop)

(My last Home Teacher and I)

(My good friend who gave me the pocket knife and his wife)

Farewell Weekend

Things have been absolutely crazy! The mission is only a week away. Am I ready? I really don't know. This past weekend had to be the biggest of my adult life thus far. Friday night, I left my wonderful college town for my home town. Before going home, my mom and I stopped by the church activity that was going on. The Young Women were had put on a potato bar and fundraising auction for the ward. It was a really great event! I enjoyed talking to all of the ward members who I had really not seen much of over the last two and a half years aside from the occasional times I would come home.

On Saturday, I went through the temple for the first time with relatives, friends, and fellow ward members. I can say that it was special solely because it was a first and because it's sort of a rite of passage in Mormon culture. Otherwise, and I won't lie, it didn't make my "favorite things I've done" list. In fact, it didn't even make the list of "positive events of my life". Perhaps I don't understand it--that'll come in time, I know. I've been told to go again. I know that I'll go while I'm in the MTC, but honestly I'd be perfectly fine if I never went again. I'm so young and naive--I really wish I could say more positive things about the experience.

Sunday was my farewell. Many of my friends and relatives attended and that meant a lot to me. My younger sister spoke on prayer and then I spoke on missionary work. A musical number was given and then the bishop's wife spoke and the bishop said a few words as well. Then the meeting ended and I got bombarded by all of my visitors and half the regular congregation before being dragged out by the bishop's secretary to speak with the bishop. We spoke about some random stuff. He is the new bishop and I've grown up with him being one of the boys' youth leaders so I've always looked up to him.

After church (my family stayed for the whole block) we went home and had a ton of people over--relatives, family friends, and ward members. We just did a "make-your-own-sandwich" thing. I believe it went very well. I know some people do the "relatives first" thing but honestly my family's never had a missionary go out and so we had nothing to go by so we did a "people come when they come" type of thing. It was very nice and my family and I really appreciated all those who came out to support me throughout the weekend. It was, indeed, a big weekend for me.

Although I really enjoyed the weekend, I am so glad to have it over with. It did cause me a lot of anxiety because, frankly, I've been trying to ignore the fact that next week I will be on my mission. I'm not in denial and I really do want to go, but I'm scared. I'm not too worried about leaving my family behind. It's the fact that when I come back that I'll have nothing here for me and I'll have to start from scratch all over again. All my friends will be graduated, moved back to their other states or countries, and just moved on.

I look forward to the challenges of being a missionary. I look forward to the new experiences and I look forward to all that is out there, but I am a home-body. I like the place that I call home to stay the same and ready for me to come back to. Things will most certainly be different when I get back and I don't like that.

A Conversion Story

I have just finished listening to one of the greatest conversion stories that I have ever had the opportunity to listen to. For me, it was not about the awesome event of the baptism of a Catholic seminary student who converted to Mormonism. No, it was the ending that was amazing; that brought tears to my eyes; and that gave me hope for my mission. The following is simply audio of Bill Carpenter, the convert, and it is long; however, if you listen I can promise you that it will be the best decision that you have done today. Nothing is better than hearing truth and nothing is better than feeling the spirit through another man's testimony.

My own conversion story is different. I grew up in California. I was innocent and didn't fully understand my circumstance. For me, it was all normal and I had 29 foster brothers and sisters to prove that my world was normal. The attention given to me was intense. Who else got visited by social workers every week who brought gifts or wanted to play with me with my latest toy? Who else got to go see a therapist who had toys in her room? Who else got to go on fun and lavish visits every other week with their parents who they did not live with? Who else got to have two families? Who else got to have their own attorney? Who else got to have court hearings held in their honor constantly for five years? Did I feel special? No, it was normal to me.

One of my first foster homes wasn't the best of foster homes and from that I got to see the negative aspect of the system--the neglect. My third placement in my second bout of foster care by the age of three was a Mormon family. They fought for my siblings and I from day one. I remember the day that I met them. I had very few possessions--a barbie car and a few articles of clothing stuffed in a small box. You could sense their excitement of having kids for the first time.

See, the mom couldn't have her own kids. They had tried and prayed over and over about how to go about obtaining the family that they felt that they should have. They got into foster care. They checked out one agency and then got accepted into another. They then felt that they should switch to another agency which was a rare allowance as agencies don't always take foster parents from other agencies. That weekend, they got called in for training and were soon after given me and my oldest sister. I believe that that placement was a miracle.

My eldest sister and I were quickly introduced to the church. One of my brothers and my other sister eventually joined us in the home but the brother ended up eventually returning to live with our biological mother for reasons that are still mysterious to me. Other foster kids joined us--many brothers and sisters. My eldest sister got baptized when she turned sixteen and our biological father got sent to prison; thus, no one had parental rights over her and she chose to get baptized. She was adopted two years later. That happened a year or two before my adoption at the age of eight and a half when my then 13 year old sister was also baptized with me soon after

Throughout my childhood in that one foster home I became pretty accustomed to the church. I learned to read from seeing my older siblings reading the scriptures and wanting to participate. I learned to memorize scriptures and to play children's hymns on the piano. I learned the discussions backwards and forwards from having the missionaries over on a constant basis. In the summers, I volunteered in the church's vineyard and that was my favorite thing to do. I enjoyed working and getting dirty. I participated in every ward service project that there was--fixing up the zoo, fixing up a hospice home, fixing up a camp up in the mountains, and more. Of course, as a child I was there to eat the treats, play with my friends, and to occasionally help or to be apart of a volunteer-related activity made for us children. From that influence in my church, I learned service.

(The missionaries and I--age 6)

So, yes, I was very involved in the church from a young age. However, I came from a very staunch Irish Catholic family. When I was six years old I went down to Southern California to visit my biological family there. I stayed with the grandmother. I remember very little about that experience, but I do remember this: she and I fought over how I should say my prayers. I was adamant about saying them the "Mormon way" and refused to say them in any other manner. Like a child that I was, I threw a tantrum that sent the grandmother running from the room. I was furious and not at all happy. I was homesick for my foster home as well. I knelt down and prayed. I prayed for comfort and I prayed to know that the church was true because for the first time in my young life I felt conflicted by the differences of religion in the dual-worlds that I lived in. After I prayed, I felt assurance. I felt that everything was going to be alright in my life and from that point on I knew that one day I would be a Mormon, a member of Christ's true church. Even more, I felt that I had a purpose; that everything had happened for a reason.

Now, here I am. I am have been a member for almost 13 years. In 27 days, I will enter the MTC to serve a mission in the Oklahoma, Oklahoma City mission, Spanish-speaking. I am excited. I will be leaving behind a lot, but I have faith that it will be worth it.

Un Sueño & Un Deseo

[Lo siguiente son extractos de mi diario]
Martes
01/29/13
23:00

Esta mañana me desperté temprano de un sueño emocional. La mitad del país se había separado de la unión. Yo estaba en alguna base militar. ¿Haciendo qué? No estoy muy seguro. Salí y miró a los nuevos reclutas. Algunos llevaban uniformes y algunos vestían ropas de civil. Vi D. Llevaba su chaqueta marrón. Estaba estresado. D se acercó a mí y yo empecé a llorar. Trató de consolar mí - incluso llegó a mi nivel y me llevó en su rodilla como un niño pequeño y me abrazó. Por alguna razón la gente de nuestro barrio estaban allí - Lindsay y Meesha. Ellos me decían que las cosas iban a estar bien. Yo les ahuyentó con ira. Yo estaba enojado con D [alistar una vez más]. Él me dijo: "Tengo que estar con mis hermanos". Lloré cuando se fue. Entonces una voz dijo: "No te está abandonando. Lo estás dejando" y me desperté. Inmediatamente hice la conexión con mi misión. Vez en cuando (sobre todo últimamente) me deprimo sobre el pensamiento de no verlo durante un año y medio. O más. Estará graduado y lo que a mi regreso ... Él es mi mejor amigo - mi hermano mayor. Sé que he dejado demasiado adjunta. Me arrepiento y no me arrepiento. Lamento permitiendo mis emociones para dar resultados. No me arrepiento de nuestra amistad.

Miércoles

01/30/13

15:38

He estado pensando que yo quiero ser. Después de la misión. Lo que espero ser yo mismo. Quiero que me la misión de cambiar. No quiero volver a la misma persona que soy ahora. Veo a estos misioneros retorno. Tenían grandes misiones. Pero ahora están muertos hacia sus experiencias. Han debilitado. No quiero volver así. De lo contrario mi misión habría sido un desperdicio. Claro, vamos a ir a convertir a los demás, pero también vamos a convertir a nosotros mismos.

¿Quién Quiero Ser?

Ser humilde...Más organizado...Más dispuestos a asumir la responsabilidad

Más dedicado a mis estudios...Fiel a mi verdadero yo 

Más implicados en la iglesia....

Menos odioso y de manera más abierta hacia los demás

Más capaces de mantenerse dentro de un presupuesto

Más disciplinado con mi tiempo...Considerado...Dar más importancia a ejercer

Una líder

SUD Noticias del Momento

1. Manti Teo, un conocido jugador de fútbol americano universitario que es mormona, ha sido víctima de un engaño dramático. El "pensamiento" que tenía una novia, ya que nunca había conocido antes. Además, la chica "murió" en el mismo día que su abuela murió también y ese día, con toda esa emoción edificados en él, todavía llevó a su equipo a la victoria. Por supuesto, muchos están burlándose de Teo (especialmente los medios de comunicación) y muchos también no creo que esto resulta ser un engaño. Ellos piensan que él quería atención y que él estaba tratando de aumentar su popularidad. Mi opinión personal es la siguiente: No creo que Teo podría haber fingido un engaño grande. Yo creo que él creía que tenía una novia. El Internet es un lugar muy peligroso en estos días y nadie, ni siquiera un mormón o un jugador de fútbol famoso, puede frustrar él es los males.
2. La iglesia mormona es la apertura de un nuevo Centro de Capacitación Misional de México. ¿Por qué? Bueno, mucha gente (especialmente las mujeres) en la iglesia han decidido levantarse e irse por las misiones. Mi amigo D trabaja en el CCM y me ha estado diciendo que un milagro que iba a suceder este verano debido a que el CCM de Provo está sobrevendido por como 4,000 con una buena parte de esos misioneros se dirigieron a América Latina. Por lo tanto, no estaba sorprendido cuando me enteré de la noticia de que se ha dado recientemente. Estoy emocionada! La obra del Señor continúa y nada va a impedir ese hecho. Para todos los futuros misioneros allí se dirigieron a América Latina provienen de verano - Para México!

En otro orden de cosas me gustaría agradecer personalmente a mis espectadores de este mes, que son de los Estados Unidos, Corea del Sur, Ucrania, Brasil, Alemania, Irlanda, Polonia y Rumania. En el pasado, he tomado nota de nuestros televidentes de México, Chile, Perú, Letonia, Reino Unido, Bélgica, Rusia, Argentina, y otros países. Una cosa sobre mí es la siguiente: Me encanta la diversidad! Me encantan sus países! Un día, yo quiero viajar por el mundo y ver muchos países. Tal vez voy a hacer eso cuando yo soy periodista.

LDS NEWS UPDATE

1. Manti Teo, a well-known Mormon college football player, has been caught up in a dramatic hoax where he "thought" he had a girlfriend as they had never met before. Also, the girl "died" on the same day that his grandmother died too and that day, with all that emotion built up in him, he still led his team to a win. Of course, many are teasing Teo (especially the media) and many also do not believe that this just happens to be a hoax. They think that he was out for attention and attempting to increase his popularity. My personal opinion is this: I do not believe that Teo could have faked such a big hoax. I believe that he believed he had a girlfriend. The internet is a very dangerous place these days and no one, not even a Mormon or famous football player, can thwart it's evils.
2. The LDS church is opening a new Missionary Training Center in Mexico. Why? Well, many people (especially women) in the church have decided to up and leave for missions. My friend D works at the MTC and has been telling me that a miracle was going to happen this summer because the Provo MTC is overbooked by like 4,000 with a good portion of those missionaries headed off to Latin America. Thus, I wasn't surprised when I heard the announcement that has been recently given. I am excited! The Lord's work is continuing and nothing will hinder that fact. For all you future missionaries out there headed off to Latin America come summer--To Mexico!

On a different note I would like to personally thank my viewers this month who are from the United States, South Korea, Ukraine, Brazil, Germany, Ireland, Poland, and Romania. In the past, I have noted our viewers from Mexico, Chile, Peru, Latvia, United Kingdom, Belgium, Russia, Argentina, and other countries. One thing about me is this: I love diversity! I love your countries! One day, I want to travel the world and see many countries. Perhaps I will do just that when I am a journalist.

A Dream & A Desire

[the following are excerpts from my journal]

Tuesday
01/29/13
11:00PM

This morning I woke up early from an emotional dream. Half the country had seceded from the union. I was at some military base. Doing what? Not too sure. I went outside and eyed the new recruits. Some wore uniforms and some wore "civis". I saw D. He was wearing his brown jacket. I was stressed. D came up to me and I started bawling. He tried comforting me--even came down to my level and pulled me on his knee like a little kid and held me. For some reason people from our ward were there--Lindsay and Meesha. They kept telling me things were going to be okay. I shooed them away in anger. I was pissed at D for [reenlisting]. He told me "I have to be with my brothers". I cried as he left. Then a voice said "He's not leaving you. You're leaving him" and I woke up. I immediately made the connection to my mission. Every now and then (especially lately) I get depressed about the thought of not seeing him for a year and a half. Or more. He'll be graduated and whatever by the time I get back...He is my best friend--my big brother. I know I've let myself get too attached. I regret it and I don't. I regret allowing my emotions to play out. I don't regret our friendship.

Wednesday
01/30/13
3:38PM

I've been thinking about who I want to be. After the mission. What I expect myself to be. I want to let the mission change me. I don't want to come back the same person I am now. I see these return missionaries. They had great missions. But now they're dead towards their experiences. They've weakened. I don't want to come back like that. Otherwise my mission would have been a waste. Sure, we are to go to convert others but we also go to convert ourselves.

Who I Want To Be

Humble...More organized...More willing to take on responsibility

More dedicated to my studies...True to my real self...More involved in church

Less hateful and way more open towards others...More able to stick to a budget

More disciplined with my time...Considerate...Hold more importance towards exercise

A leader